I'm on the road with my dream in a cart, pulling it along into reality. This is the chronicle of my journey...
Today's teaser is a little longer than I wanted. My apologies.
Last week, Aletea left Giaan alone with Uncle Yashpal, cos he claimed to have some work for Giaan to do. Today, you get an idea of what that work is.
OMG, can I just say how much I dislike Uncle Yashpal. I want to put Giaan in a box and hide him from the mean uncle. Or slap the mean Uncle. *narrows eyes* I just love the dialogue, because you can truly feel for Giaan, and of course, there's this hope in him. Excellent teaser as always!
okay...i literally LOLed when i read the third paragraph...cuz it's so true! i definitely would be scared of falling asleep in uncle yashpal's house! :)
Poor Giaan! Love this snippet. Keep the hard work up!
Wow that is a mean uncle!
I'm on the edge, here, about what's in that backpack =-O Poor Giaan. You do a great job of putting us in his shoes. Love the third paragraph!
Uncle Nashpal is craaaaaaaaazy
I just love your MC. I want to hug him and keep him safe!! I know everyone hates Uncle, but I love how well you've written him.And we secretly all know you're a romantic at heart ;)
Despite his coldness--or maybe because of it--I like Uncle Yashpal. I loved these parts: "From then on, life as Giaan knew it hinted at promises worth fighting for. He would eat with Uncle Yashpal, sleep in the same house as Uncle Yashpal, endure the nightmares, and tomorrow, he would see Aletea again. Not how he preferred his days' journeys, but at least they had a common, recurring happy ending."And: "Giaan held back his retort, same as he had yesterday, same as he would tomorrow and many days to come. Backchats only riled Uncle Yashpal more, and it was foolish to enrage his uncle, as he had discovered in the past."And: "Giaan's legs might as well be trees, because they wouldn't function when he told them to. His eyes were unfocused, his knees tremulous. He needed to hold onto something lest he collapsed, as though a cyclone had swooped in, spun him in the air, slammed him against the ceiling, and tossed him on the ground. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. They made him dizzy.The glint in Uncle Yashpal's eyes, a brew of unkindness and delight, sharpened, and he said, 'Are you afraid?'"But the entire teaser was awesome. Uncle Yashpal also scares me and I kind of feel sorry for Giaan.
@ Liz lol yeah, ok, i may have read like 500 M&B's in my lifetime, but don't tell anyone I said that :D@Remilda lol cheers. Maybe you can try and understand why Liz loves the great uncle himself haha!
Oh god. I hope the bag does not have what I think maybe it has! Yashpal is so intimidating and creepy, eeep. Poor Giaan!
Uncle Yashpal is a great character.I love this part: "...as though a cyclone had swooped in, spun him in the air, slammed him against the ceiling, and tossed him on the ground" and "brew of unkindness" - TOPS!
Can I shank Uncle Yashpal? Please? :D
Grrr, I had a long comment typed up and then the page glitched and I lost it! But it basically said that the suspence was awesome, the voice is good, and I loved the romantic part at the beginning. I hate Uncle Yashpal, and now even I won't forget which bus to get on! I'm worried/excited to know what's in the bag and what happens. Hopefully Giaan makes a run for it!
You have me so hooked. So much suspense and intrigue! And, evil as he is, I agree with others that Yashpal is a great character.
This. Was. Intense! WOW! What to build up the tension!! Loved it!
Keep it clean and constructive. Thanks.