Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Teaser Tuesday

It's that day of the week again :) and this time I'm not late for my date with you guys! Here's my tease for the day. It continues where last week's teaser ended.

Background info for those who didn't read last week's teaser (you can still read it now – it's still up): Jon, the strange boy David encountered at the museum, seems to exhibit strange powers. He has stolen the golden burial mask of Tutankhamun, with the notion that he's meant to protect something from someone, and is headed out of the museum.

Snippet starts:

*snip snip SNAP!*

Snippet ends.

Feel free to leave comments XD


  1. Wow this entire scene is so vivid.

    I especially like this line: "Whips pulled layers of skin from his face. Chisels dug into his skull, chipping out bits of flesh and bone."

    You planted the image directly in my mind. Great snip!

  2. Edge of my seat through the whole thing. I am more and more hooked with every snip.

  3. Museums always make for good adventure stories : ))

  4. I love the rhythm of your sentences. They practically beg to be read aloud.

  5. Interesting snippet. I like the way the action ensues here, just think you can tighten it a little, because lines like "He had every right to be afraid." and "His distrust of the man amplified." just kind of bog it down as you show very well what's going on - Keep it coming :D

  6. Thanks, you guys!
    @ dystophil, cheers - ive fixed those :D

  7. Aaah, I like your style very much. It reminds me a tad of Matthew Reilly. Action-packed. Great voice. Vivid imagery. Nice work!

  8. This is very atmospheric and you definitely have a distinct style of writing, with very cool/distinct imagery. I think it could be tightening just a bit, but overall, really thought it was great! :)


Keep it clean and constructive. Thanks.